Posting for your Student 2/10/25
I belong to several Facebook groups for the Class of 2025. I know it’s honestly mistakeable, but parents keep asking questions like, “if you had to apply to schools again, what would you have changed?” The answer in my head is, “not apply to just one school.” My mom would’ve agreed 100%. It’s one of my regrets looking back. I didn’t last one semester at that school, to prove my point.
It’s really hard for parents, like my mom and now me, to not insert their thoughts and feelings into the college admissions process. But, we really need to remember it’s not our journey. Our regrets may turn out to be the best options for our kids.
Many parents have helped with the applications. Some more than not but still we, hopefully, did less than our kids. (I’m going to leave finances out of this as it’s really not prudent to my point for this post). So we feel like we’re part of the process and it may, to some extent, feel responsible for the decision.
So how do parents step back and not feel like it’s their journey too?
Helping too much with the college lists by giving kids suggestions due to alumni status. Most of us take pride in that college diploma and look fondly back at the good ‘ol times. Or pushing our dream schools, that got us rejected or never applied to, so we can finally wear that sweatshirt. These are our own dreams, not necessarily theirs.
Make sure to not have access to their common app account nor their applications portals. The kids can absolutely take advantage of the pdf option on the common app and provide you with a copy for corrections on basic data and suggestions for honors, activities,and essays. As for the portals, let the kids find out their decisions when they are ready to, even though it is SO tempting to take that peek.
Unless there are significant extenuating situations, please, please do not write or rewrite their essays. If you 100% have to do either due to a temporary illness or injury, get as much information as you can from your child and try your best to keep it fitting with their voice. You can read it back for any personalized (or lightly suggested) edits. The colleges want to know about your student and assess how they will benefit their school. (This is a good reason as well to start your common app essay in the summer before senior year.)
Maybe step back from the Facebook groups. I’m on them to grow my business. So I try to keep my posts brief and helpful to the person’s posts. Otherwise, I would stay far away for my emotional well-being.
And when you do go on these groups - as a personal request - please do not whine about your child’s decisions. Take care of your child. And it’s not you who may or may not, perceptively, be treated unfairly by the admissions departments. Sadly, that’s them. So, just support and give them space when requested. Ice cream and hugs are lovely options if they allow you. And stay off social media. Please keep your disappointment to yourself and/or trusted friends and family.
(Bonus just for me really) Stop with the acceptance videos with that awful music. It is grating on my nerves and we still have decisions coming. I really like this one because it is really different: https://www.tiktok.com/@babycakess222/video/7466952871020432683
These are my tips, I know it’ll be hard. But let’s try and give it a shot. Also, have that money discussion as one of your first steps in this process, and parents have complete control there.