From Bustling Household to Focused Guidance: My Final College Search

My youngest child is a junior in high school and we’re in the beginning stages of the college search. He’s taken his first SAT and we’ve managed to make a list of schools based on his priorities.

Saying it’s bittersweet is an understatement. He’s my fourth of four in four years. We are only children and we chose to have our children close in age so they could grow up together. It was a bustling household for awhile, but now with our daughter in her sophomore year in college and our twins heading off in August, things are about to get quiet. While I know we’ll miss the constant activity, I’ve also been waiting for the day that my youngest gets to be my only. He’s my baby, even though he’s 3 inches taller than me!

Whether you’re navigating this process with your first or your last child, it’s undoubtedly challenging. (My heart goes out to those middle kids!) The family dynamic inevitably shifts. It’s not like they’re not all your kids, but having your heart in different places around the country leaves a certain void. 

So how am I going to do this college admissions process differently, and is it even necessary? As they say, no two children are alike, and this college search is proving to be vastly different from my previous three, which were each their own adventure. My youngest is undecided on a major, and it seems like that might not change without some academic counseling in college. His older siblings all had clear, unique academic interests. It’s safe to say he likely will not be pursuing psychology, electrical engineering, or finance. 

If you have multiple children, you might see similar patterns or perhaps your children are more alike. I honestly assumed since both my husband and I have engineering degrees, we’d have more than three engineering graduates. However as they progressed through school, it became obvious that wouldn’t be the case.

Since we’re venturing down another new path, I’m going to take a more hands-on approach. I’ve had varying degrees of outside assistance for my other children. I hired an essay coach for our daughter and provided general support. One twin relied heavily on his school counselor, while the other we hired a college counselor who primarily facilitated a Facebook group for parents to ask questions. That experience felt like a mix of support and self-guidance. 

This time, I’m guiding my youngest through the process myself. We plan to start touring schools after the twins graduate. We want to visit as many campuses as we can. His application strategy will depend on what we learn during our travels. I have gained considerable insights from the cycles of 2023 and 2025 from my other children, and, frankly, have the scars to show it. I’m confident that we’ll navigate this successfully - together.

Have you taken on different roles in the college admissions process with your children? Are you seeing the unique differences in each child’s journey and how they compare to your initial expectations?